As I woke up this morning and pulled on my yoga pants, that were left like firefighter turnout gear on the floor next to my bed, I was instantly thinking about you.  

Not your breakfast or what I would scrounge up for your lunch (I’ll probably feel guilty about that half ass effort later), but the constant struggle I feel to teach you independence while also protecting you from EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE at all times.

This instant thought is the result of wisely spending my time on social media last night before bed. I know better. I tell others not to! But there I was… reading a post about how Sally was fine with her child having social media because she regularly checks it all, but Sue was not because you can never see all of the things they look at. But Sally said that we should be guiding them through social media because it is part of our world now… Sue wasn’t having it. Neither was Sarah. Oh had I not mentioned that Sarah was quietly liking certain comments but not others to show her support? Sally needed back up and thankfully Sam came to her rescue and fully supported Sue’s child being on social media because her child has been on it for awhile and hasn’t had any problems.

If we can get past the irony of this debate taking place on social media, then let’s try and deconstruct what Sally, Sue, Sarah, and Sam were all going through. Four different moms, 4 different kids, 4 different households, and 4 different writing styles to convey their points of view which will be misconstrued by anyone who disagrees with it. What could go wrong?! This is purely speculation, but I’m guessing that no one left that debate feeling great. I wasn’t even a part of it, but I left it feeling doubt, fear, and worried that my name didn’t start with an S.

So number one is that I shouldn’t have read it. Should you? Yes, go for it! But I personally can’t read something like that and not get in my head about it. But here’s the thing, do you consider all the aspects of those thoughts and opinions? Like, if you are judging Sally and Sam for letting there kids have social media, did you know that Sally and her husband have recently gotten divorced and the phone became the lifeline for her child to communicate with both parents and that the social media apps seemed fun and were giving her child some joy during a very difficult situation? No? Yeah, neither did I because I DON’T KNOW THEM! Yelling for the people in the back to hear. I don’t know any of them. It feels like I do because they are in the same Mom’s group I’m in for our city, but I don’t. And let’s not forget Sue and Sarah… they are adamant that our kids will be bullied or become depressed or get sex trafficked. All valid concerns and maybe Sue has already had a negative experience on social media to validate them. Don’t know.

But as I go round and round with these thoughts, it occurs to me that I’m suddenly also concerned about what other’s think of my own decisions concerning my kids. How did that happen? And was that even what I was initially worried about? But that’s the sneaky part of social media… the killer of joy… the comparison trap. I walked right in it and didn’t even realize it until I wondered if one of my dear friends was a Sally or a Sue!

So now I have multiple issues I’m worried about and it’s almost midnight. And what even started all of this? Oh yes… because I was on social media trying to relax.

Now before y’all jump in and say that you wouldn’t have thought about all of it like that, I will throw out my disclaimer… that is the point. None of us think in the same way, we don’t process things in the same way, and we don’t “hear” text in the same way. I agree. Stalemate. I don’t know what’s best for you and your family and you don’t know what’s best for mine. Opinions can be extremely helpful in certain situations, but be prepared to filter them into a place that isn’t just causing noise that drowns out your own instincts and thoughts.

So is this post about social media? Is it about letting our children have freedom and independence? Is it about a new book I’m writing where Sally, Sue, Sarah, and Sam all come together to start a podcast to stop them from being on social media? Or is it maybe, just a reminder that as a forty year old woman, even I got discouraged, sad, and sleepless over an online conversation that I wasn’t even a part of, hadn’t even been thinking about, and should have known better than to take to heart… but I did.

And I think I just answered MY own question on whether or not MY kids are ready to handle social media at their ages.

xoxo

B

The post The Comparison Trap appeared first on Windgate Lane.

This post will have some affiliate links to help you find products or similar ones but will mostly be picture heavy because it’s all still a work in progress! We wanted to keep our leather couch and chair but I did add two chairs that have worked out perfectly from Target.  I waited because I knew that they needed to match my true love… our new coffee table.  And they do and it’s glorious! I am a sucker for a spindle leg and repurposed my hutch from the old house and painted it a beautiful blue because the wood clashed with the floor.  It works for our media stand for now and adds a fun pop of color.

I will do a post soon on my DIY artwork above the mantle. It was a huge canvas with trees on it that I found at a flea market, but just wasn’t working for me in here so to save some moola, I decided to paint over it because it was a huge canvas and fit the space.  I was nervous because I didn’t want it to look like a child colored it but it brought in the colors I wanted and for now it makes me happy because I used the lake in the mountains where we scattered my mom’s ashes as inspiration.  I gotta keep her close to me!

So enough chit chat! Here are some quick pics of our family room that is open to our kitchen and opens out to our patio and pool. 

/ Chairs / Stripe Lumbar Pillows /

/ Similar Animal Print Pillow (mine were from HomeGoods) / Coffee Table /

I love these chairs! They are comfortable and easy to move around when entertaining, not to mention a great price.  They are also a lower profile, which I wanted because I didn’t want them to block the pretty view outside when in front of the glass doors.

The rug and coffee table were big ticket items and to be completely transparent… aren’t my normal cost effective purchases.  But I planned and waited for sales and knew that these would both be large statement pieces that would be around for a very long time.  They were also very large and this room is fairly huge! The rug needed to be a 11 by 14 at least.

/ Chairs / Coffee Table / Rug / Similar Side Table /

The coffee table has had my heart for a very long time and y’all know that I tried to find a cheaper version for literally years!  But a good sale and a coupon code and I finally just pulled the trigger.  The details on it are gorgeous and it’s also ‘little boy’ friendly so it will last forever!

This room can be seen immediately when you enter our home so I wanted it to be both comfortable and pretty! And with no room in the budget for art, the DIY mantle painting and this little bow painting I did add just a bit of fun and color with all the blue and white. I plan on building out simple frames around both pieces.

And last but not least, this tiered side table was a clearance find that happened before we moved and I couldn’t resist it! It was $100 when I bought it and broke all of my self imposed rules of not buying something before it has a specific place and purpose… but it totally paid off!

Is it dangerous to have a glass topped anything in my house? Yes. But it has survived 7 months so we are just going to cross our fingers and hope she survives!

I hope you enjoyed this little peak into our family room and will update as we go! My absolute favorite thing about this room though? Is the peaceful view out back!

I will share our tips for building a pool and hopefully some new deck furniture soon!

xoxo

B

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There is a term that I need all of you to recognize before we go any further though.

Term:  TheySayers

Meaning:  Those that say the things.

So I found that most of the advice given is from these TheySayers.  For example: “They say that time heals all wounds”  ” They say that love lasts forever”  “They say that good things take time”  “They say if you love something, to set it free”  “They say that I’m crazy.”  Ok, that last one has only been said a few times.  But who are these TheySayers?! They must get tired… so much advice.

I say these things a bit facetiously, but I do understand the sentiments behind them when they are shared.  It’s the knowledge that there isn’t a perfect thing to say to someone who is picking up the pieces of their heart, who is battling cancer, who is struggling with depression, who is battling addiction, who has just lost the love of their life, who is feeling lost.  If I knew the words that could make me feel better on down days then I would have tattooed them on my face!

We’ve all adopted the TheySayers thoughts as go to’s in times of distress.  And I’m guilty too (raises hand)!  I have sat, hand in hand, with my dear friend hours after her husband died in an accident and not had one word in my mind that could possibly bring comfort or meaning to her.  I’ve sat with my 9 year old while he couldn’t sleep for nights after a traumatic loss and literally begged my brain to find the words! But once you have truly known that kind of grief, you know that the TheySayers had good intentions, but brought no comfort.

So how do we give comfort? How do we receive comfort?

We don’t put our expectations on them.

Let that soak in.  We don’t get to decide how they handle their situation.  We don’t get to decide when they should stop feeling bad.  We don’t get to judge who they want to talk to or don’t want to talk to.  We don’t get to feel bad that they didn’t take our advice.  And why?  Because every single situation is different.  It is never cut and dry.  One person’s walk through grief is explosive and angry and they are going to tell you about it, while another’s is silent and long and happens in waves and neither way is wrong.

But how do we know what to do for them, Bridget?! Good question.  I’m still working on that but the one tried and true method I have is doing two things.

1. Prayer/ Good thoughts/ Good vibes- whatever your choice is.  For me personally, I pray for God to surround them in love and comfort and provide them with the right people to help them through such a difficult time and if that’s me, then I am happy to serve.  Give them the love of your thoughts.  Don’t forget them.
2. Which leads to number two.  Has it been on your mind to call them, but maybe you haven’t because of the aforementioned, I have no clue what to say convo?  I get it.  Text them and say you just had them on your mind and you’re sending love.  It’s that simple.

To feel that you have not been forgotten, that your pain is not invisible, is a huge gift.  Don’t understand what someone else is going through? Take heart, they may not know exactly what they are going through either and may just need to know they aren’t alone.  Don’t forget them.  Their silence, while suffering, is not usually a choice.

Matthew 5:4 Says ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.’

Can we fix, can we change, can we talk it away? Probably not.  Can we comfort? Yes.  In the smallest ways anyone can bring comfort.  Never decide that what you can offer is not enough.  A text, a call, a milk shake on a random afternoon.

Let’s provide the comfort and let the TheySayers rest for a bit.

xoxo

Bridget

The post Who are “They”? appeared first on Windgate Lane.

These shelves are a fairly new product there and you can buy them in a multitude of sizes and really personalize them to what you want.

I wanted them to be a clean white so I simply spray painted them before assembly.  And by assembly, I mean, beat me over the head, have a meltdown, want to throw them out the window, 2 day ordeal.  I say this because I actually take pride in my Ikea assembling abilities.  I know all the little tricks and can read there poor directions like a boss now… but these were a mean surprise because it looked like they would be so so simple! They were not.  I managed to get it done but didn’t end up following any of the directions so I’m afraid I can’t help talk you through it… but I will pray for you! I think it turned out pretty well though and does the job for now.

This is in a corner of our dining room that I will share more of soon!

I’m not bitter at all that the movers removed 2 of the 4 wheels on my antique tea cart and are still no where to be found… not bitter at all.

Dalmation Trinket Dish found here but currently unavailable.

I love that I can enjoy my new collection and that it’s not hidden away anymore! The house is slowly coming along and this is motivating me to finish up the dining room fast

Pin below for sources later!

xoxo

B

The post Ikea Wall Shelves Hack appeared first on Windgate Lane.

The entryway in our new home was a bit of a question mark for me at first.  It’s very long and with the hardwoods, it felt a bit dark, which I knew I needed to offset.  Initially I considered a gallery wall, but decided that it might feel a bit cluttered and wanted it to feel very clean and simple while still filling the very large space.  I’m not used to having such high ceilings and a lot of our old pictures are sizes that would get lost in the space, so I needed to look for larger scale pieces.

During the first few months I ordered this console table from Ballard Designs when it was on mega sale for $200.  The price was right and so was the length! It’s huge and bigger than most I was finding.  But that’s what the space needed! I was debating for quite awhile on what to put above it but finally decided on a mirror because it would bounce the light down the dark hallway and wouldn’t compete with artwork that would hang over the mantel.

After some failed trips to HomeGoods and my other fave home accessory places, I got a new Ballard Designs catalogue in the mail and wouldn’t you know it… the perfect mirror was in it! Once again, huge, but just enough detail to give it interest without being fussy! Check and check! The only problem… price… definitely more than I usually spend on something like this.  But if you sign up for there email list (once again, this is not a sponsored post) you will get emails with sales and I did just that and they finally had a 30% off coupon and I jumped on it.  This won’t be something I will replace for a long time and the quality of it showed when it arrived!

And by quality, I mean it was heavier than I could describe without using a cuss word and tested our marriage to the limit while we hung it lol! But worth it in the end!

And why don’t we just round out my Ballard Designs love fest with the final thing in the entry, my faux fiddle leaf fig tree! I have yet to find one of this quality and size for the price (also waited for a coupon and got it awhile ago).  It looks so real and I just found the pot for it at HomeGoods.  I can’t keep a plant or tree alive to save my life so this is actually saving me money in the long run. 

Added in some of my blue and white pretties and voila! After 4 months we have a pretty, welcoming entryway! Do you like how I say voila and then 4 months later like it was overnight? Yeah… moving is a lot y’all.  Expenses and just figuring out what works in the new spaces takes patience and more patience, otherwise you end up buying a bunch of stuff that doesn’t really work.  Just ask our last house and the accessories that were in it for the first several years;)

If you have been around Windgate Lane for awhile, you know that these two pieces are more than I usually spend.  But with this new house and with 10yrs of design experience under my belt now, I knew where I would feel comfortable spending a bit more and that was on things that would be classic place holders.  The table and mirror will be there for a long time and my little accessory loving heart can decorate around them in all sorts of ways!

Each space is slowly coming together!

xoxo

B

**All photos are property of Windgate Lane.  Prohibited use without written permission.

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One of my friends got a note from a girl that said do you like me, yes or no? I cringed a bit on the inside because as a girl, this sounded like a heartbreak waiting to happen.  I said what did he do with the note? Well I told him that he shouldn’t write back but he should talk to her tomorrow and ask if they could just be friends, just like you told me I should do if I ever got asked that.  This had turned into the most amazing drive home from school we had ever had!

As the only girl in our house, I have tried to be very aware of how men prefer to communicate and I’ve also tried to explain to them how it feels to be on the other side.  As my handsome young man has had some admirers before, and been embarrassed by it, we have had several conversations on what to do and say if this happens to protect both his heart and hers.  I’ve told him that it’s a very brave things to share with someone that you have feelings for them and that it shouldn’t be ignored but you also don’t have to return the same feelings.  We don’t answer notes because it’s not that simple.  It’s not a yes or no.  It’s a thank you, but I’d be happy if we could just be friends.  And it won’t be easy and you will have to be brave to go talk to her just like she was brave to ask you.

Oh my Angel, you made me so proud today.  You heard those conversations and took them to heart and then took it a step further and encouraged a brand new friend to be easy with another’s heart as well.  You won’t always take my advice and that’s fine, but this one warmed my heart so! You make me so proud and knowing that you have such a caring heart above all else, let’s me know that you are as much your grandmother as you are your grandfather.

I know you are hurting this week.  It’s a tough one.  This time last year our dear friend passed suddenly and your little heart was thrown and lost.  I prayed and prayed for your heart to heal and for you to let me help you navigate this horrible road of grief.  It wasn’t a road I wanted you to have to be on again in your short life time but we got through it.  It was months before I saw the light in your eyes again, as it had been, but it was pain that strengthened you and I know helped you to become the young man who isn’t afraid to show others how to care for broken hearts.

xoxo

Month of Thoughts and Prayers

First Entry

The post Healing Hearts appeared first on Windgate Lane.

I pictured you undoing all the tucking in and moving of precious stuffed animals so that you could pull back your curtains and stare out the window in your new room.  And then in complete excitement, running down to get me to share in it.

That’s how I feel every day.  So excited to share in this life with you.  Almost in disbelief that I get to love you for my life and beyond.  The way you love me has changed me in so many ways and filled me with all I need.  I pray that my love for you will always give you strength and peace.

My prayers change daily for you.  Most often they are just of thanks.  Thankful for your smile, your love, your laugh, your love of your family, your sensitive heart.

Thank you for coming down after bed last night my angel.  It woke my heart up to remember to be so thankful, so grateful, and completely in this moment of time with you.

You are all the best things.

-Month of Prayers

The post The Best Things appeared first on Windgate Lane.

It turns out that it’s a lot easier for me to shop for others than it is for myself! Besides decisions on window treatments for the new house (you can read about that here), I am totally undecided on stools for our kitchen.  Now y’all probably know this, but the difference between counter stools vs bar stools is fairly simple… one is taller than the other. Lol! I know. I’m a genius.  But let’s continue on just incase someone is confused as I was.   Counter stools pull up to your standard height counter.  Bar Stools pull up to an elevated bar area.   Here are the approximate, standard measurements.

Counter Stools:  Around 30inches

Bar Stools: Around 24inches

For our new kitchen, we need 5 or 6 counter stools depending on their size.  I love the open concept of our kitchen, dining, family room, but it also creates a challenge of making it all cohesive while not being to matchy matchy.  Not an easy task.  I have my faux bamboo chairs (similar here) at the dining table and want to keep them so I don’t want anything to compete with that.  I also have a husband and two boys who want backs on the stools and want them to swivel… who knew they would have opinions on something house related like this?!

Counter Space:

My criteria is a swivel seat, simple frame, and fabric seat.  Sounds simple until my brain looks at ALL the counter stools in the world and completely crashes.

I have searched the internet high and low though so I wanted to share where I have found the best resources.  I am narrowing my search down and will share my decision soon but please leave a comment if you have a suggestion or a favorite source that I haven’t included here!

Joss and Main —

I love how you can narrow your search results and really only see what you are looking for.  They are always competitive prices as well.

Wayfair —

They have a large collection and good prices but kind of hard to get through it all.

Target —

Great prices but again, you have to look through a lot to find what you are looking for- nice that you could return to store though.

Pin Below to source them later! …

Hope y’all are having a great day!

xoxo

B

The post Counter Stools vs Bar Stools appeared first on Windgate Lane.

We have driven up north of us and looked at possible locations for years.  I realize that sounds ridiculous, but things have happened each time we were considering that kept us where we were at and as the saying goes- “All in good time.”

With all of our moves, things have just felt right.  This move was a little different for me because it’s the first time I have moved with kids and that added so many emotions to manage that I have definitely been overwhelmed! But I planned out the best ways to get them settled in as quickly as possible, which I will share soon to maybe help others.

So blah blah blah… you want to see pictures, right?! Well today I am going to show you some bare bones pictures and then a vision board of where I’m hoping to take this new home.  It was a spec home, which means the builder built it in a new neighborhood to get the ball rolling and when we found it, it was nearly completed.  So I didn’t pick any of the finishes in this home but I do really love them because I wanted neutral and they did a great job of making it all very simple and classic.  But y’all know I love an old feel so my challenge will be adding in my own details to knock down a bit of the “shiny new” and make it feel like us!

Top of the list of what sold us on this property was that it was on a half acre and backed to woods.  The view out of the back of the house is priceless and with HUGE windows and sliding glass doors, I could just sit and stare out back all day long! (iPhone pics for the win here)

We back to a small creek and woods- more privacy than we have ever had! And still in a neighborhood with a school in it.  So you can see in the above picture of the back of the house the windows.  Those are out family room, kitchen/dining, and master bedroom and above is the playroom.

So let’s start in the kitchen! These photos were taken while work was still finishing up so there is still paper over the hardwood floors.  The kitchen opens to a 12×14 dining area and it is the only dining space in the house- no formal dining room which was fine for us as we only used it a couple times a year:)

So much light! And more storage than I could have ever dreamed of as I used to have to keep pots and some pans out on my stove in the old house because there was simply no where to put them! I have a lot of ideas for that dining space but am still playing around with it all.  I need to live in the space for a bit- I will say though that my oriental rug from the old family room has been put down in the dining space and I looooovveee it in there!

Next up is the family room- super simple but I love how the fireplace is grand and while the tiles are a little more modern than I am, the woodwork contrasts it enough to bring in some traditional.

The sliding glass doors out of the family room are my favorite.  It will be indoor/outdoor living here for sure! (there might be a pool post coming soon!)

Off of the kitchen is a nice nook that I will make family planning central! And I love that the granite is carried over to it.  Such a nice neutral.

The playroom upstairs also has the beautiful views and large windows…

And a cute little barn door leads to a fun media room that will remain empty until my husband can’t stand it and breaks down and gets a screen for in there:)

And the last spot on this first tour is the master bedroom which is where the final gorgeous windows are.  I have so many ideas for this room that I really need to start narrowing it down!

This has been an exciting, albeit bittersweet, move for our family! But we aren’t too far from where we were and plan on forcing our sweet neighbors to come see us often.  The boys are adjusting and we are excited to meet some new friends and explore the beautiful trails and ponds around us… I sang the Green Acres theme song the other day and it fell on deaf ears around here but I thought I was funny and clever so it’s good to know that some things don’t change

And here is your first sneak peek and my first stab at where this new home will go decor wise… lots of color and bringing the outdoors in…

Can’t wait to share this journey with y’all! First up will be figuring out widow coverings because while I love the view, we also need some privacy options and to block some of this Texas sun sometimes too! What would y’all do? Plantation shutters, curtains, blinds, nothing?

xoxo

B

The post New Home: Time to Dream appeared first on Windgate Lane.

I am in the waiting room.  I feel like I have been in the waiting room for 8 months.  It’s been a series of waiting rooms, each designed to test my faith and patience and I’m not convinced I’ve improved in either but I still see the lesson.  The first was waiting for my own surgery.  It had to be done and I had made every possible arrangement I could to ensure my family would be ok while I was out of commission.  The mom guilt was enough to want to just stay in pain.  But they would be ok, right? This felt different though because I knew I would be completely out of commission for at least two weeks.

As I waited in the waiting room with my husband, I suddenly felt panic that I had never had.  Panic that something would go wrong, that my boys would lose me as I had lost my Mom.  That waiting room will do funny things to you.  It will twist your thoughts, it will send your mind down worm holes that almost take the breath right out of you.  I ended up quickly writing letters to the four most precious people in my life.  Four men.  I wrote about the thoughts, the pain, and the heartache that they would feel and then to the strength and love that I knew would still surround them.  I wrote of individual moments and joy.  I wrote of my thankfulness.  My father, my husband, and my two sons, all waiting.

My husband sat in the waiting room without me for 9 hours that day.  Things went wrong.  The plan was changed.  I can only imagine his thoughts during that time.  But after the wait, it was time to wait some more.

The next waiting room was all internal.  I sat and I waited.  Waited to feel better, waited to feel normal, waited to see what good I could find in this huge curve ball thrown at my family.  But it wasn’t the worst waiting room to sit in.  That one was just around the corner.  The worst one was the one I never got to sit in.

The finality was deafening.  Our friend, our neighbor, the loudest laugh in our life, gone before anyone could wait or ask or pray or beg.  One phone call and all I heard was, “He’s in Heaven.”  His story is not for me to tell, but Heaven is a lucky place and I look forward to giving him a hard time again one day.

A different waiting room yet again. There is no end to this waiting room.  I’ve sat in this one before.  There are several different doors, but there is not a clear way out.  It’s grief.  It’s a weight that can’t be lifted.  My husband helped me into the viewing.  Afterwards we sat in our car both inconsolable, knowing that we had just said goodbye to not only a dear friend, but our boys had lost such a special man in their life.  So what do we wait for now? Do we wait to feel better? Do we wait to see if we can help our precious friend and her daughter out of the deepest pain they have ever known?  No, we wouldn’t wait, we would just do.  We swore right there that we would never stop helping them look for those doors out of the pain.  Even if it only gave them moments of relief.

This will be the first time on Windgate Lane that I will quote a Bible Verse.  “After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:9-10, KJV).  Thy will be done.  To me this means that I will get on my knees and relinquish what I believe should and shouldn’t be in my life. I will live in a way that waits, but doesn’t question.  How does that look? I don’t know.  It looks messy I guess.  It looks like tears, laughter, fighting exhaustion that feels unbeatable, and finding strength again and again.

Was there purpose in all this pain?  Yes.  The tears on the floor were wept in the greatest love that I have ever seen.  Because love doesn’t know bounds of life and death, it is one in the same.  Inexplicable gut wrenching beauty is seen while laying a soul to rest.  You will see every emotion mirrored by an opposite, because in that waiting room it is all the same.

So it wasn’t ever just a waiting room, it was sitting in the mirrors of emotions.  The family to my right learned that there mom’s surgery wasn’t as extensive as they had thought and would make a full recovery from her cancer.  In his overalls, this man, father, husband stood and embraced the doctor as tears fell.  He had no words.  Probably because he has sat here before.  He has sat in the uncertainty and gotten the news that didn’t bring on the same kind of tears.

The Asian family was spoken to softly and went back to see their loved one, the man was finally taken back, and then it was just me and his ring.  An hour longer than expected and the fear and thoughts started to creep in.  What would happen? What would change our plan? Would I figure it out? Would we be ok? But then I remembered… I can live in the wait… I can’t live in the question! Inevitably there isn’t a clear answer, and while we can all live in that frustration, we can also celebrate that there is never just one door to walk out of.

It was close to 4 hours that I sat silently holding his ring.  And then they opened the door and I got to cry my tears.  My tears of relief that he was ok, my tears of sadness that he would be entering a difficult recovery while I was still in one myself, and my tears of guilt that I would place the ring back on his finger and my husband was coming home when my dear friend’s didn’t.

Life is a waiting room.

The post The Waiting Room appeared first on Windgate Lane.